Broadcasting, Comedy

Never work with children or animals… or Apps.

Do you listen to Farming Today on Radio 4?

No?

It’s on at 5.45 a.m.

They produced an absolute belter this morning, a moment of unintended comedy gold.

The show is fronted by a female trio, who take it in turns to present, produce and report on the various topics they cover.

Despite their obvious sector expertise, all three have delightfully RP BBC voices, that contrast spectacularly with the accents of their rural interviewees, which span the divide from mildly agricultural to positively wurzel-y.

Today Charlotte (sic) Smith was presenting a feature on a new “App.” designed to teach pig handling to apprentice farmers.

The producers had obviously had a lot of fun in the studio with the app. and played us a clip on the segment intro. in which its electronic voice explains, rather pompously, “You will often see piglets carried by their hind legs… but this is not considered ‘best practice’.

The programme then cuts to Charlotte on a farm, armed with her App. as she clambers gingerly into the farrowing pen to test out its advice.

She picks up one of the piglets in the manner recommended by the App (round the tummy) and is rewarded with only a very mild squeal of outrage from the indignant porker.

“Ooh, I’ve never picked up a piglet before,” she exclaims proudly.

But the unforgiving App. has already moved onto lesson 2.

“Check its anus,” it commands loudly and robotically.

You could feel the producer jumping for the fader, but it was too late.

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